Receive it.

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Meet Cartoon.
She is the most adorable and loving 15 year-old I have ever met.
I noticed her the first week of doing ministry in the slums. She was standing off to the back not wanting to be noticed. I immediately invited her to play volleyball with me and she lit up.
6 weeks later she is the person I have been able to pour into the most. I love spending time with her, teaching her English, meeting her family, getting our nails done and hearing about her heart. I love seeing her lead the younger kids in the slums, how she looks out for her younger sisters.
 Last week I was in the slums and she called me her “older sister”, my heart was so encouraged.
Now whenever I spend time with her I love telling her who she is, who I see her as—a beautiful and loved daughter of Jesus.
I walk to the slums with the mindset of “today I get to be Jesus to Cartoon” and it makes me so excited.
I see her and tell her “Cartoon, you’re so pretty!” she replies shy and humbly “No no no”.
“Cartoon, you are getting so much better with your English!” she replies again “No no I only speak a little”.
“Cartoon, you are great at volleyball!” she replies “No I don’t ever play”.
“Cartoon, you are loved!” she looks at me and smiles then takes my hand to go play another game with her.
My heart hurts. I become frustrated. I ask God: Why won’t she believe me? Why doesn’t she trust that I know her and truly believe these things about her? Why won’t she let me just be Jesus to her and speak these things to her heart so that she might be encouraged and loved?
He replies: This is how I feel when you don’t believe the things I tell you, Alex.
This is who Jesus says I am:
·      I am alive in Him. (Ephesians 2:5)
·      I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)
·      I am a friend of Jesus. (John 15:15)
·      I am a joint-heir with Christ. (Romans 8:37)
·      I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and word of my testimony. (Revelation 12:11)
·      I am a partaker in His divine nature. (2 Peter 1:3-4)
·      I am an ambassador for Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:20)
·      I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power. (Colossians 1:11)
·      I am loved by God almighty. (Romans 5:8)
·      I am a daughter of the king. (John 1:12)

I read these, and even more verses like them, and think “Really God? You believe that about me?” as if it seems too good to be true.
BUT it is true, 100%, all the time. I know that if Cartoon walked in the truths about herself she would be more free to be herself and love the people around her. That same thing is true for you and me. If we laid down the lies we believed about ourselves and honestly believed the truths that God speaks over us, even screams over us, we would walk in so much more power.
Why do we write these truths the He says about us off? We throw them away as if they are empty and without proof. When in reality, the cross screams these things and is enough proof for eternity that we are dearly loved by the King of kings.
Believe these things about yourself, it feels hard and challenging, but is vital to your identity and the power God wants you to walk in.
Pray for Cartoon to have this realization. Until then, I get the incredible honor to speak for Jesus into areas of her life. What a privilege. 


Bar Ministry: Perception verse Reality

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I spent a night earlier this week with two of my teammates going to bars and starting to build relationships with the girls in the red light district for the first time.
Suddenly, they were no longer images in my mind or girls I had passed by on the streets; but were friends with faces and names.
This is a blog about my perception verses the reality of last night:
Perception of the men: I pictured the men in the bars being happy with the life they have lived. As if they were relishing in their sin and enjoying the decisions they have made. As if they were proud of their choices and the life they were living.
Reality of the men: They are just as broken as anyone else can be. Some men were sitting with the girls flirting and putting on a fake cloak to hide their feelings of desperation. Most of the men were walking around aimlessly or sitting in a dark corner sipping a beer, their eyes clouded with loneliness and hurt.
Perception of the streets: I pictured streets filled with smiles, even though I knew those smiles would be fake. I thought there would be an atmosphere of happiness cloaked in a dark setting.
Reality of the streets: Instead the streets were filled with darkness reaching for happiness, but failing miserably. None of the girls were smiling, unless you first directly smiled at them. The neon lights seemed old and dreary, almost as if the brightness of light had been drawn out of them completely.
Perception of the girls: I perceived them to not want to talk to us and be friends with us. I pictured them not really caring that we were there but just going along with the conversation. I thought that when they saw us (white girls walking around the streets) they would think of us as a worthless amount of time because we weren’t there to spend money on them.
Reality of the girls: They are full of love and searching for someone who will see that in them. I sat down with multiple girls last night and each of them genuinely wanted to have a conversation. When we gave them our full attention and sat down next to them they would light up and smile, more than willing to share a tiny bit of their story. They asked us to play games with them (pool, jenga, connect four) and when men walked into the bar the girls looked to us and said, “Want to play another game?” as if stating: I would rather spend my time with you.
Perception of bar ministry: I thought it would be a hard grueling time going from bar to bar trying to find a girl to build a relationship with. I pictured the darkness being too big for the light.
Reality of bar ministry: There is so much hope to be shared. Most of the girls are so friendly and want to feel important, to feel like they can be a 20 year old girl who isn’t seen as an object to be bought. I am so excited for this next month of continuing bar ministry and beginning to build relationships with these girls.

Thank God my perceptions have been broken and the reality is that God is doing a work here. The world would say that the red light district is too dark and thriving for God to break through. But I know I serve a God who is jealous for every single heart in the bars: both women and men. Praise God, He is coming for you Thailand.


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