Thailand/Missions: Where are my passions?
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For me the word passion was always connected to the idea of
missions. I always assumed that the people going on these mission trips were
insanely passionate about a certain area, people group or cause. They must have
passion behind one of those things to let themselves be sent to a completely
different place and unknown situation that simply promises to stretch and challenge
them beyond comprehension. Passion for those issues HAS to be the driving force
for a person to willingly leave where they are placed to serve in a completely
different environment. Right?
In about a week I will be leaving the US to serve in
Thailand for two months.
Here is the kicker: I’m not passionate about Thailand.
Yep, you read that right.
So why am I going? Well I’m glad you asked.
First, let me tell you a little bit about obedience. For me this whole trip is a
giant, huge, leap of obedience. A step to go somewhere I don’t feel prepared to
be, and it’s not even that me reading more scripture or books would prepare me.
It is just simply the state the Lord wants me in, to be obedient to the literal
unknown.
Which leads me to the second point: trust. This lesson has been hard and I feel will continue to be a
challenge until I enter Glory. Just as soon as I relinquish control of one area
of my heart, God is always asking for another or revealing an area I didn’t
even know was there. This trip is not only a step of obedience but also a
display of trust. Trusting He has led me into this, trusting He has placed me
where I need to be, trusting He will provide every means necessary for me to go
and trusting He will be constant through it all.
This leads to passion;
(or what I felt the lack of). I want to first say that people who do have a
large amount of passion for a cause or place are completely valid and are vitally
important to what their calling from the Lord is.
But like I said, I don’t have that, or I don’t feel a
driving force passion behind my motives to go on a mission trip abroad. At first I thought something in my heart was
wrong, I was praying “Dad why would you call me to a place that I
don’t feel like I have a passion for?”
That then led me to the question, why missions? And it was
in that question that I found my purpose for going to Thailand.
To me, missions isn’t an outlet to fix the world, or a place
to display my hearts desire for a cause. Instead, missions are just the Lords
call to “go”. I don’t need to be passionate about sex trafficking, poverty or
abuse to go to Thailand.
Instead, I need the desire to see Jesus heal the brokenness
of this world and to let His glory invade. I need the desire to delight fully
in Him and to share that delight with those who don’t have it, with those who
desperately need it.
It is not wrong at all to have passions for a cause or
injustice. Psalm 97:10 calls us to hate evil, Psalm 82:3 commands us to stand
up for the weak, Proverbs 31:8 calls us to speak up for those who cannot, and
so on. I pray that the Lord would continue to open my eyes to the brokenness of this world and burden my heart for the areas that burden His.
But for me, my passion is not found in causes. Instead, my
passion for the world is found in a heart seeking to love and know Jesus better.
My passion to serve Jesus is now letting me feel the weight of this broken
world and the desire to serve Him in the brokenness, the desire to go to the
places that need Him and the desire for His love to heal the injustices. Out
of my own heart I wouldn’t be capable to have the adequate compassion or mercy.
In fact, if I relied solely on the passion of my own heart (no matter how “strong”)
it would be inadequate to even try to bring hope or healing to this world. It
is only the passion that can come from His Spirit to allow me to make a
difference for His glory. Out of my heart knowing and being aligned with His,
then, I find my passion to go on missions.
So do I have a specific passion for Thailand? No. Do I need
one? No.
Do I have a passion to see Jesus praised and for His love to
invade the broken places of this world? Yes. For that reason I go, for that
reason I am sustained and for that reason I am going to Thailand.
So I invite you to join me in prayer. I will be gone June 7 to July 30. Pray for my team, that God would move in powerful ways, that His love would invade Thailand, and that we would press into Jesus all the more.
The bread or the baker...
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What is the goal of my relationship with Jesus Christ?
Am I passionately pursing the King of Glory with the hopes
my life will benefit in some manor?
Am I going to the Creator of all things simply to receive
the things of which He has created?
Am I after the bread that is provided? Or am I after the baker of the bread?
If I don’t receive splendor and blessings in this life, will
I still be satisfied with following Christ? After all, the picture of an easy and painless life is not what is promised to me in the bible.
These are the questions I wrestle with and the things I have to continually check my heart on. What is truly enough
for my soul and how does my life reflect that.
We have all heard it said before “God is enough”, whether in
a sermon or maybe even reading a blog like this one. “Don’t do this, God is
enough is satisfy that desire” or “don’t chase after this longing, God is
enough to fill that void”.
I think we tend to just believe and assume that God is
enough after we become a Christian. We forget what it was like to never be
satisfied by the things of the world. Once we are adopted into the family of
Christ we tend to become almost like spoiled children, don’t we? We now have access to a
Father, who is good and perfect, to ask of Him things we desire. We now have
the ability to approach the throne with confidence (which is a beautiful thing,
don’t get me wrong). But are we approaching the throne in awe or with an ideal
list of how our life should go now that we are walking with Christ? It then
becomes what can Christ give me? This is almost a type of idolatry, where we
want the gifts over the giver of the gifts.
Colossians 1:17-20
tells us that in everything Christ should be preeminent and above all things.
Friends, this is the goal, the end, what it’s all about: Jesus.
Not what Jesus can do, give or provide for your life, but
simply that He is enough.
He is really enough. What would my life look like if I
walked in that? If I could rest in that? Believing that He is enough casts out
all legalistic ideas. I don’t have to do anything else, He has done it. I don’t
have to fill myself with worldly things, He fills my desires. When He is enough, I don’t have to fall into
comparison and be “without understanding” as 1 Corinthians 10:12 describes. I
can stop going to the world for cheap imitations and answers.
God is the end goal, not what worldly things God brings
about in a life that is reconciled with Him, but rather God Himself. We cannot
continue to use God for bread, we get God and that is enough.
My prayer:
Dad,
May I be reminded that You are enough for my soul. I was
created to delight in You and You alone. May I seek Your will above my own
feeble desires. May I press into Your truth rather than lean into my own lies. Grow
me in an understanding of Your heart. Open my eyes to see how You have provided
abundantly in every way. Let me be thankful above all else for what You have done
and the work you have promised to finish.
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