The bread or the baker...
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What is the goal of my relationship with Jesus Christ?
Am I passionately pursing the King of Glory with the hopes
my life will benefit in some manor?
Am I going to the Creator of all things simply to receive
the things of which He has created?
Am I after the bread that is provided? Or am I after the baker of the bread?
If I don’t receive splendor and blessings in this life, will
I still be satisfied with following Christ? After all, the picture of an easy and painless life is not what is promised to me in the bible.
These are the questions I wrestle with and the things I have to continually check my heart on. What is truly enough
for my soul and how does my life reflect that.
We have all heard it said before “God is enough”, whether in
a sermon or maybe even reading a blog like this one. “Don’t do this, God is
enough is satisfy that desire” or “don’t chase after this longing, God is
enough to fill that void”.
I think we tend to just believe and assume that God is
enough after we become a Christian. We forget what it was like to never be
satisfied by the things of the world. Once we are adopted into the family of
Christ we tend to become almost like spoiled children, don’t we? We now have access to a
Father, who is good and perfect, to ask of Him things we desire. We now have
the ability to approach the throne with confidence (which is a beautiful thing,
don’t get me wrong). But are we approaching the throne in awe or with an ideal
list of how our life should go now that we are walking with Christ? It then
becomes what can Christ give me? This is almost a type of idolatry, where we
want the gifts over the giver of the gifts.
Colossians 1:17-20
tells us that in everything Christ should be preeminent and above all things.
Friends, this is the goal, the end, what it’s all about: Jesus.
Not what Jesus can do, give or provide for your life, but
simply that He is enough.
He is really enough. What would my life look like if I
walked in that? If I could rest in that? Believing that He is enough casts out
all legalistic ideas. I don’t have to do anything else, He has done it. I don’t
have to fill myself with worldly things, He fills my desires. When He is enough, I don’t have to fall into
comparison and be “without understanding” as 1 Corinthians 10:12 describes. I
can stop going to the world for cheap imitations and answers.
God is the end goal, not what worldly things God brings
about in a life that is reconciled with Him, but rather God Himself. We cannot
continue to use God for bread, we get God and that is enough.
My prayer:
Dad,
May I be reminded that You are enough for my soul. I was
created to delight in You and You alone. May I seek Your will above my own
feeble desires. May I press into Your truth rather than lean into my own lies. Grow
me in an understanding of Your heart. Open my eyes to see how You have provided
abundantly in every way. Let me be thankful above all else for what You have done
and the work you have promised to finish.
Prodigal Son, Egypt, and the Gospel.
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“Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who
trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the great strength of their
horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the
LORD.” Isaiah 31:8
I am returning home from Egypt. Finally. I am returning home
broken and empty handed with nothing to offer my Father. Sounds oddly familiar
to the prodigal son, eh? So what does the Father do? He accepts me with open arms
that were shed on my behalf. This, friends, is the beautiful Gospel.
I am returning home from Egypt. Okay maybe not physically,
but metaphorically. I have departed from my all-knowing, perfect, and loving
Father and have ran to Egypt. This realization is painful to me. Mainly because
I had no idea I was even in Egypt. I had no idea that I was going to other
places for help and reliance instead of my Father. That is a scary thing people,
to not even know where and to whom your heart is ultimately trusting in. “Prone
to wonder, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love” is the story of my
life. I didn’t even know I was deviating from His heart. I didn’t know until I
was already there. Until I felt the lack and void caused by departing from His
presence. In that moment my mind jumps to “Lord, where are you? Why can’t I
feel you? Where have YOU gone?” I lean into believing the lies of the enemy
telling me that the God of the universe has left me. This inevitably leads me
to trying to blame God for feeling distant, when it is I who has been finding my
help in Egypt, chariots, and horsemen. So what does this reveal about myself
and about the God I love?
Myself: I am a broken sinner living in a fallen creation and am in desperate need of Jesus and the gospel, daily.
“for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken
me, the fountain of living waters, and heaved out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water.” Jeremiah 2:13
I spend my days at the wrong well. I spend my days heaving out broken cisterns that I believe
will fulfill and sustain me. Broken cisterns that inevitably lead me to a dry
thirst for the fountain of living waters. I have forsaken the living God and
ran only to find myself with a thirst that only He can fill.
God: By us running to Egypt, to other places to find help
and refuge, we discover that God is constant. God does not abandon us in difficult
seasons. Good days or bad days, close days or distant days, filled days or
empty days, joyful days or sad days; God has not abandoned you. How amazing
does that make our God? Matt Chandler puts it this way: “That even in our
hypocrisy He is long suffering with us. Even in our inability to live out all
that He would call us to, he continues to lavish upon us His grace.” That is
humbling to my soul, that even when I wander He is with me.
“In returning and rest you shall be saved;
in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”
Isaiah
30:15
So I return, with nothing to offer Him, I return home. I
return home sad that I missed out on feeling His companionship, having Him as
my substantial help, seeking Him as my everlasting refuge. But honored that I
am still counted worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven, not because of anything that
I have done, but everything He has done. Solely and only I get Him. That is the
gospel: that we get God. We get Him. We get Him, and that’s enough. We can stop
wandering and filling ourselves with pointless things, we get HIM and that is
enough and better than anything we could ever imagine or fathom.
Let me be reminded of that daily, Father. Let me rest in
Your quietness and trust in Your ways above my own.
Weakness.
·
Weakness. As people, how are we not weak?
We are fragile and feeble beings. When strength vanishes we
are left with a feeling of despair. We especially see this in the limitations
of our physical weakness. When you push your physical strengths beyond measure,
no matter how hard you train and prepare, bones can still break and breathing
can still become hard. Physically we have limits and restrictions. Some people
spend their life obsessing over being physically strong and fit, trying
desperately to eliminate all weaknesses. However, spiritual weakness is very
different than the physical. Spiritually we can train and grow, but still feel
very weak. Spiritually, we are constantly being pushed to weakness, towards
letting go of our strengths. For me, spiritual weakness leads me to a place of
discomfort, a place were I no longer have control over the things of my heart.
As humans we do not enjoy our weaknesses, physically or
spiritually. We feel as though they need to be hid or suppressed. If all our
weaknesses where to be put out for all to see, how would that make us feel? For
me I would be humiliated and filled with shame at the sheer amount and weight
of my weaknesses. But I feel as though the more I grow with the Lord, the more
weaknesses become uncovered within me. JI Packer once said “The weaker we feel,
the harder we lean. The harder we lean, the stronger we grow spiritually, even
while our bodies waste away.” I love this quote, because it shows that our true
strength does not depend at all on the state of our physical body. Even while
our bodies start wasting away, we can grow and lean on the Sustainer of the
universe. But how does that work? If we are weak then how can we become strong?
To me, the statement that weakness can lead us into strength seems backwards.
But when I look back at how God has worked in my heart, it has been only
through my weakness. So how is that possible?
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient
for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all
the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
Grace. In 2
Corinthians Paul makes it sound like God wants
us to be weak. His grace is sufficient, even in our weaknesses, failures, frustrations,
and inadequacies. When we give over our weaknesses to the Lord, He transforms
them into His strength. Does that mean we should boast about the fact that we
are inadequate, failing, and weakening people? Absolutely. If I were the
strongest person spiritually, then I would never be in any need of the cross.
If I had no failures or weaknesses, then why would I ever start to lean on
anyone other than myself? There would be no point. So for my ever present and
constant weaknesses I boast, I am thankful. For my weaknesses prove to me that
I can never be my own god; that I am in desperate
need of a savior. The only strength that can never fail me is the strength from
the Creator. So praise God. Praise God
for your weaknesses and failings, because from them we have grace. Grace that
gives us the chance to lean into the arms of the Father, grace that allows us
to be weak and find strength in the only One who can sustain. Weakness is
painful and hard at times, but is a gift that I will boast in.
“Let us then with confidence
draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to
help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16
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